I’m sorry.
For saying all the things.
For oversharing my thoughts.
For being in my feelings sometimes.
For over communicating.
For being too forward and too honest.
For caring too much.
For loving too hard.
For wanting things that aren’t mine.
For wishing things I’m unworthy of.
For being stubborn.
For being sassy.
For giving my unsolicited opinion from time to time.
For being indecisive.
For being a total head case.
For having anxiety and depression.
For having this body and body image issues.
For crying too easily.
For playing with my hair too much.
For having a foul mouth.
For not being someone else.
I’m sorry for just being me.
I’m sorry.
Tag: writing through my tears
Broken
I am broken
Made to feel inferior by your constant provoking
Beaten by your words, defeated by your actions
Ruined myself confidence with your dissatisfaction
Overly critical of all that I do
Keen to berate and rip me in two
Every discussion, I’m wrong and you’re right
Never realizing you brought me so much pain, night after night
Small
You make me feel small
Like I don’t matter at all
I try to speak up, to use my voice
But screaming is often your method of choice
I try to stand tall and hold my ground
But you tower over me and push me around
You get so close up and in my face
Invading all my personal space
To you, I’m simply dismissible
I don’t matter and am completely invisible
You make me feel small
And one day, that will be your biggest downfall
Broken
I feel broken.
Mentally, emotionally, physically. It’s exhausting keeping up with the day-to-day but I have to and so I do. But I want to curl up in the dark with my puppies and sleep. Everything seems off, nothing is right. I try, I fail. Every effort unnoticed or unappreciated. All I want to do is sleep and when I do it’s never enough.
Crying. Unexplained pain. Migraines.
I feel broken.
.
.
.
.
.
But there’s tomorrow. I will try tomorrow.
Three years gone…
I love to write. And in the last three years I would say I have written the occasional damn good post. BUT…I lost all that content. 😦
Unfortunately, I was using a third party company for my web-hosting and they decided to rob me a large sum of money (at least for me) without warning. We didn’t see eye to eye on the whole thing. When I canceled my service and they sent me all my files in a zip and so far it’s just a mumbo jumbo mess. 😦 Three years of decent blogging… gone.
I’ve bitched. I’ve complained. I’ve mourned. Now I’m just trying to move forward.
I considered starting fresh somewhere else. BUT… I love The Bluntest Blog and I’m not willing to give up on it just because someone shit all over my bloggy dreams.
So…I’ve decided to push through the pain and write on.
the bluntest blog 