Confessions – 11th ed.

Hi and welcome to the first confession of 2020!

New here? I’m a notorious confessor. I already have this problem of being very blunt (the bluntest blog – get it?) but on top of that I tend to confess things to the bloggy-verse. *shrugs* Oh well, shit happens. AND this whole global pandemic thing isn’t helping AT ALL. So…let’s begin.

  • I miss seeing people I actually like. Yes, I am locked up with my kid and yes I like her most days. But I mean people I actually like and want to spend time with. You know?
  • I have a secret hiding place for a Costco size jar of salted, dark chocolate caramels. JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT BUT I LIVE WITH MONSTERS.
  • As of late – I’ve been very into my horoscope and have fallen into the madness that is Secret Tarot’s YouTube channel. She’s incredible.
  • I’m a difficult egg to crack. It’s hard for me to trust, to put my guard down. Very few manage to get through. And when I do finally let my walls down…I surrender completely.
  • I put on perfume everyday after I shower. Yes, even if I’m not going anywhere. Why can’t I feel pretty? There is no need to live like animals.
  • We have a cat – Kiko. He’s a great cat and I like him. I just don’t want a cat.
  • I can’t seem to journal, as of late. It’s like I lost the ability to write. So I’m doodling. Lots and lots of doodling.
  • We’ve only lived in this house a year but I can honestly say I’m not big on my new-ish neighbors. They are nice enough and don’t appear to be serial killers or anything. But my old crew were THE BEST and these new people just don’t have it.
  • I’m convinced my hair has stopped growing and is falling out. Stressing about it isn’t helping – that is for sure. But I’m in my thirties for Christ’s sake! So I’ve invested in shampoo and conditioner to help my hair grow. I know, right? It’s a thing – put it in the Google.
  • Lately, I’ve been sleeping cattywampus or completely sideways in bed. It feels more occupied that way.
  • The best part about social distancing is that I now have a legit excuse to socially distance from my family.
  • My kid is obsessed with Nutella. Sometimes I sneak a spoonful (or two) when no one is looking. And then when the jar runs out super fast I totally scold her for eating too much of it.
  • I feel like 2020 will be the year I get my first tattoo or a new piercing… something permanent to represent change.

These are my confessions.

The renaissance continues!

Last year I began my own renaissance. It was slow but steady and I accomplished some things. In 2018 I:

  • logged 80+ workouts
  • lost 35 pounds
  • went to the gym by myself
  • took my dogs to the beach for the first time
  • faced some of my own demons and hard truths, acquired some new ones along the way
  • cleaned out my Monica closet (props to those who know what this is)
  • bought a home
  • wrote more
  • prayed
  • read but not nearly as much as I wanted to
  • bought myself something expensive and got over the mom guilt
  • survived another year of parenting a tween

I shared some of my progress along the way to celebrate the small wins. Because in life you have to call out the small shit, right? And I’m definitely not done. The year is well on it’s way and the renaissance must continue…

There is sooo trash in the world. So much darkness. I am cleansing all that crap out of me. Doing a little Marie Kondo on my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical baggage to make sure I am only carrying the essentials (and they are neatly folded). It won’t be easy but I’m here for it all. Then I’m hoping I can contribute to the positive. Live in the light and put some light out into the world. Because boy do we need more light in our lives. Am I right or am I right?

I don’t have particular goals or resolutions. But just as renaissance implies – I am continuing the rebirth of a better version of myself. I hope that when I take stock of the things I’ve done in 2019 that my list spreads the whole gamut of human health. Because above all things – I’m committed to myself. I need to be the best form of me to be the best mom, partner, daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, and or stranger on the goddamn street I can be.

So here’s to 2019 and all that it brings.

Confessions – 8th ed.

confession_page_banner

Holy shit! I am yet to confess in 2018!! This might be a long one, you guys. I need to confess some serious shit STAT!

If this is your first confession with me – this is how it works: I have this problem where I just say things. I’m blunt {hence the name of my blog} and I don’t know how to hold back. So I confess my feelings, secrets, lame shit… all of the above. I’m not sure it’s a very endearing quality but oh well. Time to confess…

  • I. HATE. PEOPLE. I know you know this about me but the hatred has grown exponentially. I might need to see a doctor.
  • I’m binging NCIS on Netflix right now because I’m 85 years old and I have a legit crush on Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I MEAN COME ON.

ncis_profiles_hero_leroy

  • I have officially been blogging on WordPress (not blogging as a whole) for 11 years. I don’t have much to show for it but that’s okay. I don’t do this for you. I do this for me.
  • This is a new era for me – one I have deemed #sarahsrenaissance.
  • When you have curly hair – no one notices when it gets long. My hair is actually almost to my butt – longest it’s been in years – but still curls to my shoulders. NOT A SOUL HAS NOTICED. Ass holes.
  • I am recovering from bronchitis. It kicked my actual ass. I was legit sick for over 3 weeks and am still not 100%. It’s fucking bull shit.
  • I don’t understand people who you haven’t spoken to (either in real life or on social media) in years or have any interaction with whatsoever who creep on your social and then comment like your families hang out every weekend at the pool. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
  • Making a planner decision for the upcoming year takes me weeks of studying, research, debate, confiding in my best, etc. and is easily one of the hardest #firstworldproblems I’ll encounter for the year. My husband makes a mockery of the whole thing. Whatever.
  • I’m intrigued by dip powder nails. I don’t know why….
  • I took my tweenager and two pups on vacation by myself and NO ONE DIED!! I’ll admit, I thought it would be a disaster but it went better than expected. I consider this a great accomplishment.
  • I’m revisiting my like for pins. And Etsy is my playground.

Related image

  • Never have I ever paid to have someone torture me in the gym before. I believe they call these professionals, trainers. However, I am closer to my first goal major weightloss achievement and am highly considering it. Clearly, not only am I losing weight, but also brain cells.
  • The 90s are back and I am here for all of it. I will say I find it super irritating that these little teeny bopper shits are rocking NKOTB and Run DMC shirts like it’s no big deal but they wouldn’t even know their epics jams if they were smacked in the face with their CDs.
  • I AM READY FOR SWEATER WEATHER! Fuck Summer. I am over it. I am ready for cardigans, Birkenstock clogs (yeah I still wear them and since the 90s are back – I’m totally in fashion, so there!!!), Fall foilage and WINTER. (NOTE: I am ANTI-pumpkin spice)
  • I am literally running out of clothes to wear that fit me and I am too cheap to buy myself new clothes. I’m the money/bill person at our house. All I see are $$$ and how I could utilize that in a more productive fashion (pardon the pun) versus just buying clothes.
  • Fairly confident that I will purchase whatever phone Apple drops this year because my 6s is acting like a piece of shit and I refuse to only have a work phone.
  • We have a neighborhood poopbandit who has been shitting in the community pool. As a result the pool as been closed for cleaning. I may never set foot in it again.
  • The prospect of three paychecks in one month always gets me giddy! And then life happens and somehow I don’t get to enjoy that extra paycheck. Sigh.
  • My kid has to get a new competition leo for the second year in a row. Last year I was told the leo would be used for two years. APPARENTLY we are getting new ones this year because some parents complained about the red of the leos from last year (they were black, red and sliver) and are totally okay dropping $300.00 for shits and giggles. I want names. I want the names of said complainers so I can find them and give them something to actually complain about. And also bill them $300.00 for the extra fucking leo I have to buy.
  • I have no use for Facebook anymore. I actually hate it. If it wasn’t for family overseas – I would delete it. I don’t get me started on FB messenger…

 

These are my confessions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking out the trash

My 11 year-old recently had a run in with a school bully. She’s a tweenager (yeah that’s a thing now) and I’ve explained that girls are just plain bitches. Anyway – it escalated and I had to call the principal. I’m all for children resolving their differences but when they cross that definitive line – adults have to step in. [And if the teachers/principal couldn’t handle it – would come to school to handle it. But I digress…] Anyway – in providing her guidance on dealing with the situation, I advised her that true friends don’t do that to you, they don’t make you feel small or tare you down. Genuine, good friends lift you up, bring out the good in you and help you shine.

In giving her this advice – I thought I should do same. Look at the people in my life and make sure I cut out all the toxic. Have you done this lately? This, to me, should be as normal as cleaning out the fridge before trash day. GET RID OF ALL THE SHIT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. Put them in the trash and take them outside. Cut ’em loose! Just like you don’t want moldy ass Tupperware in your fridge that you are afraid to open, so too should not want toxic people in your life exuding toxic waste into your life.

And welcome the cleanse! Why are people so goddamn afraid of what other’s will think? Omg what if Becky is upset that I un-friended her on Facebook? Shut the hell up! Don’t let stupid people bully you into thinking you need to be socially connected to them for no reason. You would never let it happen to your children. Don’t let it happen to you. TAKE OUT THE FUCKING TRASH AND DON’T GIVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT.

Now that you’ve taken your trash out – look at what’s left. Are these your people? Refine it till it is. It takes a while. Patience young padawan.

We don’t do life alone and those of us who have attempted don’t get very far. I’m making it a point to surround myself with people who help me grow, challenge me, give me joy, love me no matter what, call me out on my shit when need be, respect my flaws and quirks and allow me to live, who make me laugh, who understand bacon is from a pig (this is a huge deal!), who are loyal, forgiving, patient, kind… these are my people. Diverse. Eclectic as fuck. My chosen family. 

Do you have a chosen family?

alex elle quote
via @alex_elle on Instagram