Our bed is lonely without you
I reach to your side
In hopes that it’s not true
But you’re not there
The tears overwhelm me
As I cry about how it’s unfair
I should be wrapped in your arms
Intoxicated by your scent
Bewildered by all your chivalry and charm
We are temporarily apart
The house feels empty
And there is this ache in my heart
I hate these times so much
Longing for the days
Of your sweet smile and gentle touch
So I lay here in our half empty bed
With my hands resting on your pillow
Wishing you were there resting your head
A friendship like no other. There’s no way to explain it and they will never understand that we just get one another.
We are family. Literally. We have a bond that runs deep. Beyond blood, on a soul level, this connectivity.
We are each other’s safe place. There is no judgment, only acceptance. There is never anger, only love.
I can always be just me. And you can always be just you. No need for masks or fake shit. Just us. Authentic and true.
We share a love of so many things and share with each other the new. If it brings me joy, I want it to bring you joy too.
Oceans apart but that doesn’t matter. We make it a point to stay in touch and have calls that last for hours.
I miss your face. Daily. And can’t wait until we are physically in the same room. Until then know that I love you, damn it. All the way to the moon.
For saying all the things.
For oversharing my thoughts.
For being in my feelings sometimes.
For over communicating.
For being too forward and too honest.
For caring too much.
For loving too hard.
For wanting things that aren’t mine.
For wishing things I’m unworthy of.
For being stubborn.
For being sassy.
For giving my unsolicited opinion from time to time.
For being indecisive.
For being a total head case.
For having anxiety and depression.
For having this body and body image issues.
For crying too easily.
For playing with my hair too much.
For having a foul mouth.
For not being someone else.
I’m sorry for just being me.
In my feelings
Drowning in all the things I’ve been concealing
Stuck in my head
Wishing I was anywhere else instead
But I’m trapped in this awfully dark place
Full of thoughts I can’t erase
They consume my everything
Dragging me along like a plaything
It’s here I analyze and overthink
It’s very clear why I see a shrink
Hoping maybe someone will take notice
But on their own lives they are focused
These thoughts don’t make me special or unique
Merely sleep deprived and weak
I’ll resurface eventually, it’s fine
In the meantime, suck it up kid and don’t whine
(Written on October 12th, 2004)
I value what we have
With everything I am
Granted it’s only been a few months
But all I can say is DAMN
I need you in my life
Something stable to lean on
Things would be very shaky
If you were ever gone
You know more about me
Than I would ever care to share
With absolutely anyone else
They don’t even begin to compare
No doubt about it
You are a phenomenal friend
I plan on sticking through it all
Until the very end
No matter what we face
I think we can handle it together
You by me and me by you
A strong team forever
Unusual to find a picture of just me
Never confident enough to for people to see
Filters used to make all the corrections
Important to fix my many imperfections
Longing to feel comfortable in my own skin
To feel beautiful on the outside and deep within
Everyday seeking some form of approval
Realizing slowly that self love is more crucial
Eventually I’ll show just me, bit by bit
Determined to be a girl that owns her own shit