d.s.w.

A friendship like no other. There’s no way to explain it and they will never understand that we just get one another.

We are family. Literally. We have a bond that runs deep. Beyond blood, on a soul level, this connectivity.

We are each other’s safe place. There is no judgment, only acceptance. There is never anger, only love.

I can always be just me. And you can always be just you. No need for masks or fake shit. Just us. Authentic and true.

We share a love of so many things and share with each other the new. If it brings me joy, I want it to bring you joy too.

Oceans apart but that doesn’t matter. We make it a point to stay in touch and have calls that last for hours.

I miss your face. Daily. And can’t wait until we are physically in the same room. Until then know that I love you, damn it. All the way to the moon.

Small – Part II

You still try to make me feel small
Every time you show up, text or call

Thinking you can tell me what to do
But I no longer have to listen to you

You say things to mess with my head
Act like you never heard the words that I said

I continue to try and remain polite
But you’re conniving and always picking a fight

You have no respect for my home or my things
Always trying to push my buttons and pull my strings

You’re no different than a school yard bully
Except I stupidly thought you were an adult and could act maturely

But I won’t tolerate it anymore
I kicked you out and changed the locks on the door

I will no longer be made to feel small
I might be short in stature but I still stand tall

Divorced

I’m officially divorced
A statement I can finally say with no remorse

It took me a while to get here
A rollercoaster of emotions – anger, sadness, denial, acceptance, and fear

And though not my choice when this all began
I decided to see this through and make a plan

After all the heartbreak, headaches and hell
I’m free, all of me, down to my last blood cell

I’m not dying so there is no need to pity or to call and inquire
This chapter is finished, I’m lighting that shit up and having a bonfire

I’m fine, in fact I’m better than okay
Today I got divorced, this is my liberation day

Lonely

I‘m lonely
Missing that feeling of someone holding me closely

Listen, I’m very independent and capable
Oh what I would give, though, to find my true partner, with that bond, so unshakable
Needing them when I just can’t give it my all
Ever understanding of my long list of shortfalls
Looking around me, realizing this is merely a hopeless desire
Yet pleading with my maker nightly to help make this transpire

Goodbye

You walked away a while ago
Threw your ring on the the floor
Stopped loving me
Hardly came home anymore

And it took me a long time to face facts
So many truths to uncover
That you had moved on
Fell in love with another

Now it’s time for you to leave
And you’re dragging your feet
Told me you wanted a divorce
Then took a back seat

I was more than patient with you
Ridiculously generous with time
You gave me your word
Clearly, it wasn’t worth a dime

And yes, it’s the end of what was
You could say it’s almost bittersweet
Learned a lot of lessons
One, I won’t live with a cheat

So it’s time for you to move out
I’ll help you pack
You chose this, remember
So there is no turning back

Widow

He’s burying her
In his thoughts and memories
Of what was and used to be

He’s mourning her
Feeling the loss so deep
Reaching across to the void where she used to sleep

He’s grieving for her
In his own way, the only way he knows
Hiding inside himself, covering pain but remaining composed

He’s cried for her
Let out all the hurt and sobbed through the ache
Washing away his guilt, for it was she, he forsake

He’s eulogized her
Reminisced of the times they shared
But now he’s alone, starting over and scared

He’s buried her
Finally laid her to rest
He’ll try to forget her but his efforts will be fruitless