Caution

Everything she touches dies
Life with her is not sustainable, that’s no surprise

She’s completely toxic
All things with her are catastrophic

She leaves destruction in her path
Sadness, anger, dissatisfaction always part of the aftermath

Honestly, poison would be a better option
At least you could take some sort of precaution

Approach at your own risk, you’ve been warned
So when she ruins you too, don’t act all misinformed

PhD

I have a doctorate in loneliness
An education I recently acquiesced

Originally not a choice I made
But for my freedom it was the price I paid

Before I knew it the isolation took over
And I wasn’t ready for this level of overexposure

I didn’t know what this lesson in loneliness would require
Turns out it would be baptism by fire

Now, the silence no longer swallows me
Instead it knows all of my idiosyncrasies

I’m no longer uncomfortable here
Or scared if I stay too long I will disappear

Today, it’s okay if I’m alone
No longer need company on the telephone

Learning to embrace solitude was harder than I ever could have known
The culmination of all my studies, my capstone

For no one knows what tomorrow will bring
But I’m smarter, stronger now, ready for anything

Unwanted

I am unwanted
Married, divorced, left damaged and daunted

Undesirable to all of the opposite sex
No one special and someone everyone forgets
Was once considered very intriguing
And is now not even remotely appealing
Not a soul wants me, disgusted, they use antibacterial
Trying so hard to be something to someone and not immaterial
Everyday rejection breeds further feelings of being unsightly
Deep down I hope someone sees me for me, but it’s highly unlikely

depression lies

it’s hard to breathe air
your lungs barely work
the weight on your chest is too much to bear
you’re on the inside going berserk

you can hardly move a step
your body just feels so heavy
no matter your efforts, you barely schlep
clunk around like a rusty ‘86 Chevy

sometimes you shake
can’t control the tremor
or get vomit inducing headaches
people avoid you like you’re a leper

you’re surrounded by darkness
despite always trying to live in the light
it swallows you whole, regardless
you try to oppose it with allll your might

it tries so hard to control you
and most days it succeeds
but one day you will push through
battle scars guaranteed

because on that day you remember
depression lies

Broken

I am broken
Made to feel inferior by your constant provoking

Beaten by your words, defeated by your actions
Ruined myself confidence with your dissatisfaction
Overly critical of all that I do
Keen to berate and rip me in two
Every discussion, I’m wrong and you’re right
Never realizing you brought me so much pain, night after night

Small

You make me feel small
Like I don’t matter at all

I try to speak up, to use my voice
But screaming is often your method of choice

I try to stand tall and hold my ground
But you tower over me and push me around

You get so close up and in my face
Invading all my personal space

To you, I’m simply dismissible
I don’t matter and am completely invisible

You make me feel small
And one day, that will be your biggest downfall