I have a doctorate in loneliness
An education I recently acquiesced
Originally not a choice I made
But for my freedom it was the price I paid
Before I knew it the isolation took over
And I wasn’t ready for this level of overexposure
I didn’t know what this lesson in loneliness would require
Turns out it would be baptism by fire
Now, the silence no longer swallows me
Instead it knows all of my idiosyncrasies
I’m no longer uncomfortable here
Or scared if I stay too long I will disappear
Today, it’s okay if I’m alone
No longer need company on the telephone
Learning to embrace solitude was harder than I ever could have known
The culmination of all my studies, my capstone
For no one knows what tomorrow will bring
But I’m smarter, stronger now, ready for anything
Sometimes life kicks you in the ass. Currently, it seems life is beating the actual shit out of me. *deepest of sighs* And the beating feels like it’s been going on forever. But I’ve gotten a few jabs in, here and there. And I’m figuring out how to hold my own. You know – stand on my own two feet. Slowly but surely.
All this to say – I’m going through some shit right now. And it’s hard and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing 99% of the time. I’m scared, upset, lonely, angry…all the emotions, all at once. But it’s fine. I’ll be fine.
And you might be going through something too. And I just wanted you to know – you’re not alone. You’re not the only one struggling to figure things out. You’re not the only one doubting yourself or questioning your next move. And you’re definitely not the only one having mini break downs or unable to get a hold of yourself. Nope. Not alone at all. And that’s okay. We will figure it out.
It’s fine. We are fine.