Hi. Welcome to another edition of my confessions. It’s been a minute since I spilled my guts so this might be a longer list than usual.
If you’re new here – save yourself! I mean, welcome! I have a condition known as word vomit where I have a bad habit of speaking the truth. Too often. It’s side effects include bull shit intolerance and loss of friendships. Also, emotional eating and sudden death. But it’s fine. Anyway, every now and then I opt to just confess on Al Gore’s internet because why the hell not.
So I’m finding that a global pandemic is a solid excuse for canceling plans or having to reschedule appointments/meetings. They really cannot get mad at you.
I am an overthinking, over analyzing crazy bitch. Yes. I know this about myself and I do it anyway. Pretty sure it’s a form of self destruction.
Lyrics, like quotes, carry a lot of meaning for me.
I’m addicted to Trader Joe’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups and I hide them from my kid because while sharing is caring – that rule does not apply to mama’s chocolate. Haven’t had them? Go. Now. Go right now and get some. I can wait….
I’m low key jealous of those houses in the neighborhood that are perfectly gingerbreaded with Christmas lights. One day I’ll be independently wealthy and will just have extra money laying about to have this done for me. Until then, I will drive by in awe of other people’s perfectly lit homes. Nevermind. Who am I kidding? I will NEVER have hoards of money to spend on something like that. I guess I’ll just be forever butthurt.
Occasionally, it sounds like someone is walking on the second floor of the house when we are all downstairs. (I KNOW I KNOW – I SAGED AND EVERYTHING!!!!) It could be the wind since this house has drafty ass windows. But I have convinced myself that this is just my fairy godmother checking in. She’s a little thick, so she’s not as light in her feet.
I have over 150 items in my Amazon saved for later cart. It’s a problem.
For Thanksgiving this year – I found myself thankful for things like alone time, masks, my divorce, having particular people in my life this year….in addition to the usual stuff like family and good health.
There are at least three more tattoos in my future. And I’m super excited about it!
Holiday foods I cannot condone: whipped mashed potatoes (where the fuck are the lumps, yo?!), canned cranberry anything, stuffing or dressing (whatever you call it), eggnog (*gags*), and fruitcake (I would actually rather be put down).
I love the Amazon man. He’s essentially my boyfriend. He comes to see me regularly and he brings me things.
I am a sucker for a Buzzfeed list. “58 Fancy But Inexpensive Gifts For Everyone On Your List” or “3984 Things You Didn’t Know You Needed But Totally Do” or “38 Books to Read If You Loved Harry Potter” or “47 Things For the Geek In Your Life”…you get the idea. I’m the person who goes through them, the person who adds that shit to their wish list on Amazon, the person who is like,”shut the front door, I do need that.” This is like the virtual Target Dollar Bin for me.
Wrapping presents is a hobby of mine. You hate it? Totally fine. Bring me yours and I’ll wrap them for you. I LOVE TO WRAP!
It’s been a minute so I think I’m due for a public admission of my sins and other shit.
New to my shenanigans? I like to confess my things on my blog. It makes me feel ever so slightly lighter and it’s swimsuit season y’all, so any little bit helps. What are your confessions?
As much as I hate people, I miss working in the office. And I miss looking forward to coming home.
The vanilla cone is back at McDonald’s! GO! RUN! Get one, ten, now! I’ve honest to Google, never been happier. I’ve had a few…
Yellow makes me happy. So happy. It’s my spirit color.
I think White Claws are trash. Yeah I said what I said and I’m not sorry!!!
Right now, I’m winging this thing they call life and it scares the shit out of me. I’m a planner person and the fact that I can’t clearly see in front of me makes me nervous.
There are only two things I physically like about myself: my hair (it’s fabulous) and my eyes. That’s it. Self love is clearly something I need to work on…
I have created a lot of playlists on Spotify. Most recently I started a Country one. I KNOW. This was shocking to me too. I’m still processing. But my niece would probably be very pleased.
I absolutely love to buy underwear. Legit my favorite thing to shop for.
It appears that I am chronically behind on good TV. There is a lot of shit out there that I just haven’t seen/binged or only seen part of here and there. The list includes: Curb Your Enthusiasm, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Arrested Development, Archer, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia…I could go on. I know I know. I should take my 30 days of PTO and dedicate my time to rectifying this mistake.
It’s been a while since I had a confession. I feel like it I’m overdue. Like when you keep a library book for too long and then shamefully (and on the sly) try to return it without the librarians seeing you. You avid readers know what I’m talking about, right? So lets confess some shit!
I’m starting to prefer Instagram Stories to Snapchat. I feel like the Snap is just getting trashy.
I am super behind on my reading goal for the year. I have hopes of catching up but in the meantime I will remain disappointed in myself.
I’m starting to get more forgetful with age. Two times this in the last 10 days – I defrosted chicken in the fridge and then completely forgot about it. UGH.
Peanut M&Ms are becoming my new favorite. Why did I ever like plain better?
I am a diehard McDonald’s Diet Coke gal but Speedway’s Diet Coke isn’t too shabby.
When my kid is at gym and I should be doing things like cooking dinner and folding laundry – I’m really binge watching Orange is the New Black or Shameless.
When I see little, whiney babies or toddlers, I count my blessings for only have one kid and love her even more for being old enough to wipe her own ass.
Using my Amazon Dash buttons fills me with glee.
Speaking of Amazon – anyone else have 2304923 things in their cart? I’m probably not going to buy them anytime this century but they are there waiting for me on the off-chance I find the money to get them.
My niece and I have a running streak in Snapchat because I’m the cool aunt.
I believe first impressions are important. But first food impressions are everything!
Sometimes going to the pool is difficult – I hate getting in a swimsuit – but my kid loves the pool AND I get a chance to judge the swingers club in my neighborhood. Oh yes – we have a swingers club. VERY entertaining. More about this later…
I’m obsessed with this game blackbox on my phone. It’s addicting.
Raise your hand if you’ve been scrolling Facebook and stubble across a food video and start drooling? You think oh I could soooo make that. Naturally, you like/share it or even save it for later use. Well, my food obsessed husband tags me in these finds all of the time! So instead of asking what should I make for dinner I started picking from the list of videos and while there were some duds (there always are, aren’t there?) there were also some big successes!
We all kind of get into a food rut in the Fall/Winter. It’s sometimes hard to find things you really want to make when you can’t just throw things on the grill. That being said – I’m sharing with you a few of the most recent food videos (and recipes) that were a hit at our house.
I recently read a post by Norah Bennett (check her out here) where she talked about all the bad but yummy food she can’t live without. I loved it! I’m sick of people telling me to eat healthy and shit. Screw that! I only get to live once and if I am going to be on this Earth than I’m going to eat whatever the hell I want.
So here’s the list of all the I-can’t-function-without-this food:
Diet Coke – I know I know. It’s going to kill me.But we are all dying really so I’m over it.
Milkduds, Now&Laters, Reese’s cups (shapes are my fav) and KitKats. – GIVE ME ALL OF THEM.
Along those line – I’m a sucker for carmels and turtles.
Honey BBQ Mike Sells – Yes. Yes. YES.
Planet Smoothie – Let’s be honest. They are the best.
Homemade (as in the brand) Chocolate Chip Ice Cream – all day, every day.
BREAD – As my ass will show you, I love bread.
Potatoes both mashed or baked – For mashed. I like them homemade, creamy, and lumpy… really I like them best when I make them but beggars can’t always be choosers. As for baked – ALL OF IT. BRB, drooling.
Cheeseburgers – I love love love me a good cheeseburger. With all the goodies on it – lettuce, tomato, pickle, ketchup and mayo. YUM. I WANT ALL THE CHEESEBURGERS.
Vanilla cones from McDonald’s – Best dollar you’ll ever spend!
What are some of the yummy bad foods that you just can’t live without? TELL ME! I may need to add to my list. 🙂