Broken

I am broken
Made to feel inferior by your constant provoking

Beaten by your words, defeated by your actions
Ruined myself confidence with your dissatisfaction
Overly critical of all that I do
Keen to berate and rip me in two
Every discussion, I’m wrong and you’re right
Never realizing you brought me so much pain, night after night

Small

You make me feel small
Like I don’t matter at all

I try to speak up, to use my voice
But screaming is often your method of choice

I try to stand tall and hold my ground
But you tower over me and push me around

You get so close up and in my face
Invading all my personal space

To you, I’m simply dismissible
I don’t matter and am completely invisible

You make me feel small
And one day, that will be your biggest downfall

Selfish reasons

Ever do something for selfish reasons? What if doing something will bring nothing positive or constructive to your situation but might make you feel a smidge better? Should you still do it?

I keep dreaming about it, in different settings, but always the same scenario. And before there is any response or outcome – I wake up. It’s completely and utterly cruel. I think this is my subconscious trying to tell me to confront my demons.

But it’s for selfish reasons. No good will come of it, so why bother? It won’t change the past and it certainly will not improve my future. SO WHY? It might make me feel better for a minute; give me some sort of brief relief. But it’s entirely temporary. The demon still exists despite confrontation.

I could end up with more demons in the long run. *deep sigh*

To be selfish or not to be selfish, that is the question.