Confessions – 11th ed.

Hi and welcome to the first confession of 2020!

New here? I’m a notorious confessor. I already have this problem of being very blunt (the bluntest blog – get it?) but on top of that I tend to confess things to the bloggy-verse. *shrugs* Oh well, shit happens. AND this whole global pandemic thing isn’t helping AT ALL. So…let’s begin.

  • I miss seeing people I actually like. Yes, I am locked up with my kid and yes I like her most days. But I mean people I actually like and want to spend time with. You know?
  • I have a secret hiding place for a Costco size jar of salted, dark chocolate caramels. JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT BUT I LIVE WITH MONSTERS.
  • As of late – I’ve been very into my horoscope and have fallen into the madness that is Secret Tarot’s YouTube channel. She’s incredible.
  • I’m a difficult egg to crack. It’s hard for me to trust, to put my guard down. Very few manage to get through. And when I do finally let my walls down…I surrender completely.
  • I put on perfume everyday after I shower. Yes, even if I’m not going anywhere. Why can’t I feel pretty? There is no need to live like animals.
  • We have a cat – Kiko. He’s a great cat and I like him. I just don’t want a cat.
  • I can’t seem to journal, as of late. It’s like I lost the ability to write. So I’m doodling. Lots and lots of doodling.
  • We’ve only lived in this house a year but I can honestly say I’m not big on my new-ish neighbors. They are nice enough and don’t appear to be serial killers or anything. But my old crew were THE BEST and these new people just don’t have it.
  • I’m convinced my hair has stopped growing and is falling out. Stressing about it isn’t helping – that is for sure. But I’m in my thirties for Christ’s sake! So I’ve invested in shampoo and conditioner to help my hair grow. I know, right? It’s a thing – put it in the Google.
  • Lately, I’ve been sleeping cattywampus or completely sideways in bed. It feels more occupied that way.
  • The best part about social distancing is that I now have a legit excuse to socially distance from my family.
  • My kid is obsessed with Nutella. Sometimes I sneak a spoonful (or two) when no one is looking. And then when the jar runs out super fast I totally scold her for eating too much of it.
  • I feel like 2020 will be the year I get my first tattoo or a new piercing… something permanent to represent change.

These are my confessions.

Changes

Did you know in 2017 I did not accomplish all the things I wanted to? I did accomplish a lot. Just not all the things that wanted to get done. For me.

So 2018 will be different because I have decided it will be. How?

I’m will still accomplish all kinds of things a home, at work, as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, etc. But I’ll be damned if I don’t also accomplish some shit for myself.

I’m going to make time for me – to do the things that I want to do, that make me happy. Because I need to do those things in order to be a better mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, employee, etc. I will make time for the things that I need to do to make me better, healthier – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  I will do the things I love but never prioritized because I was “too busy” to do in the past. I will schedule the time, create the time or pull time out of my ass to make it happen. Because it needs to happen. No matter what.

These are the changes. 2018 will be different.