My 11 year-old recently had a run in with a school bully. She’s a tweenager (yeah that’s a thing now) and I’ve explained that girls are just plain bitches. Anyway – it escalated and I had to call the principal. I’m all for children resolving their differences but when they cross that definitive line – adults have to step in. [And if the teachers/principal couldn’t handle it – I would come to school to handle it. But I digress…] Anyway – in providing her guidance on dealing with the situation, I advised her that true friends don’t do that to you, they don’t make you feel small or tare you down. Genuine, good friends lift you up, bring out the good in you and help you shine.
In giving her this advice – I thought I should do same. Look at the people in my life and make sure I cut out all the toxic. Have you done this lately? This, to me, should be as normal as cleaning out the fridge before trash day. GET RID OF ALL THE SHIT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. Put them in the trash and take them outside. Cut ’em loose! Just like you don’t want moldy ass Tupperware in your fridge that you are afraid to open, so too should not want toxic people in your life exuding toxic waste into your life.
And welcome the cleanse! Why are people so goddamn afraid of what other’s will think? Omg what if Becky is upset that I un-friended her on Facebook? Shut the hell up! Don’t let stupid people bully you into thinking you need to be socially connected to them for no reason. You would never let it happen to your children. Don’t let it happen to you. TAKE OUT THE FUCKING TRASH AND DON’T GIVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT.
Now that you’ve taken your trash out – look at what’s left. Are these your people? Refine it till it is. It takes a while. Patience young padawan.
We don’t do life alone and those of us who have attempted don’t get very far. I’m making it a point to surround myself with people who help me grow, challenge me, give me joy, love me no matter what, call me out on my shit when need be, respect my flaws and quirks and allow me to live, who make me laugh, who understand bacon is from a pig (this is a huge deal!), who are loyal, forgiving, patient, kind… these are my people. Diverse. Eclectic as fuck. My chosen family.
Do you have a chosen family?