I think Valentine’s Day is bull shit. If you care deeply or love someone shouldn’t you show that love all year round? Seems insane to me that we dedicate one day to buy overpriced roses, go out to eat with a bazillion other people and declare our undying affections for one another. On the off-chance my spouse is reading this: Hi Mikey! I love you 365 days and like you most days. xoxo

However, inevitably social pressures get the best of us and we cave, scrambling last-minute to find a box of chocolates and a reservation somewhere before 10PM. Despite my disdain for this Hallmark holiday, here is a list of Valentine’s Day gifts I find acceptable.

Unicorn Light Up Slippers – Amazon

Fluffy unicorn slippers that light up – essentially every girls dream.

Drivemocion LED Car Sign – ThinkGeek

Sixteen messages or faces to help express my road rage?! What more could a girl ask for?

Whiskey and Rum Making Kit – uncommongoods

No explanation needed.

Emergency Clown Nose – uncommongoods

Because honestly – life is too much sometimes or we just take shit way to seriously. We ALL need Emergency Clown Noses. Everyone. Frankly, I think the world would be a better place

Pokemon Inspired Earring Gift Set – CloudNineDreams

Stud earrings are a must and these cuties are a necessity. I would ROCK those little Squirtles!

Taco Magnetic Bookmark – craftedvan

Books are amazing. They take you to an entirely new place. But what good is a book if you can’t remember where you left off? This etsy vendor makes the coolest bookmarks! However, I am partial to the jumbo taco because duh. Books + tacos = HEAVEN.

There you have it – a list acceptable Valentine’s Day gifts that any totally awesome person would graciously accept. AND most of them are completely affordable. There is no need to get into a financial conundrum over a stupid holiday.

So, what do you want for Valentine’s Day?