She saves me.

Two weeks ago I was casually browsing the inter webs and thought I would peak on some of my favorite people on the world. We all have those people we like to follow and see what they are doing. Yours are like Kim Kardashian or Kanye. Mine are a little different. Mine are Chrissy Teigen (because who doesn’t love Chrissy?), a few cooks (because who doesn’t love food?) and Jennifer Lawson (aka the author of TheBloggess). I stumbled across a post where Jenny said she was coming to Ohio!!! The woman I essentially idolize, IN OHIO. I immediately took to Facebook to find out where. And other Jenny fans told me she was going to be at Books by the Banks in Cincinnati. That’s like spitting distance from me…if you can spit 40 miles away. Nonetheless – completely doable. I told Mikey. He was all like you have to go and see her. Well DUH! So we made plans to leave first thing in the morning, get my books signed, maybe see her speak….everything was falling into place.

I went to bed that night planning to see my hero in the morning. I day dreamed of us becoming BFFs. But I woke up early in the morning… completely panic-stricken. I wanted to go and meet this amazing woman who speaks to me in the darkest times in my life, who reminds me to keep going when my brain wants me to do stupid things, who lets me know that it’s okay to hurt, who lets the world know that there are other people out there fighting depression, anxiety and all kinds of fucked up shit….but I was terrified. What if I went and didn’t get to see her? What if we missed her speak or didn’t get my books signed? What if she was like you’re a fucking disaster, GET IT TOGETHER? What if I couldn’t remember my name? So I just laid in bed and didn’t say anything.

At about 10:30AM – Mike woke up and questioned why we were still at home. I made up some bull shit about not wanting to screw up everyone’s plans for the day. He clearly read through my weak ass excuse. These were our plans. He told me I was being stupid and to get my ass up and get ready to go meet Jenny Lawson. So I did.

We got to Books By the Banks just in enough time to listen to Jenny speak. She read from her book – Furiously Happy – and then answered questions. I got to ask the first one and she complimented by Harry Potter shirt! Potter Weasley 2016!! I could have died at that moment. Then we waited in line and she signed my books. We chatted like we were the best of friends. And in my head we totally are. 🙂

Easily goes down as one of the most memorable days of my life.

unnamed
Today I am furiously happy I met @thebloggess! And she liked my tee shirt!

Confessions – 5th ed.

confession_page_banner

If you are just joining the shenanigans – I like to confess shit. Just put it out there. Kind of takes the weight off my shoulders and makes me feel just a little lighter. I’m a big girl so shedding even a little is a big help. You know? I strongly recommend it. What are your confessions?

  • I am officially one of those people who has an Instagram for their dogs. Yes – judge the shit of me because I don’t give a damn. It’s so much fun connecting with other pet accounts, pet brands, advocates and lovers. It’s an epic community and I am not ashamed to say I am part of it. Also – Alvin and Ollivander are wicked cute. So there’s that.
  • I LOVE LOVE LOVE FALL! I’m ready for sweaters, hoodies, scarves, Birkenstocks, fires and all the yummy comfort food that comes with it.
  • Fifth boss in ten months now at work. I am SO OVER IT. Keeping my head down and working but it’s hard. Moral is generally down. I’m doing my best to focus. We still have so much to execute on. Just because things aren’t going well doesn’t mean the work stops. I tend to welcome change because it’s a sign of progress but this much is difficult to keep my feet under me.

“Times is hard. And things are a changin’. I pray to God…” – John Legend, It Don’t Have to Change

  • I talk to myself. But frankly, sometimes I need the company.
  • Books have always been bae. However, as of late I am crushing it. I killed my goodreads reading challenge for 2016! And am still reading several more books because why not?! The Dayton Metro Library lets you check out a bazillion books at a time – both physical copies and digital. It’s amazing! If you’re a local Daytonian and avid reader – make sure to join this library if you haven’t already. They have so many locations and their digital library is impressive.
  • I think I might wear my Potter/Weasley shirt everyday until this election is over. Because that’s how I feel about it.
  • We have a neighbor who thinks its okay to park their cars in front of our house even though they have plenty of room at theirs. This is not a smart way to make friends with me. You will be unsuccessful.
  • I like to play Pokémon. Yes I’m grown. No I don’t care what you think. Major Poké goals. MAJOR.
  • I am going to start Christmas shopping this weekend. There are only TEN weekends until Christmas. And four of those weekends we will be traveling. I am starting to PANIC!
  • I’m in this perpetual cycle of messy desk, clean desk, disaster desk, clean desk. It never ends.
  • Settling on an EC Life Planner is easily one of the biggest decisions of my year. It dictates how I plan for 365 days! And every time I think I have my mind made up, the woman comes out with another edition that only messes up everything I’ve concluded. So…I’m struggling. This is my vise. Also – if you don’t use an EC Life Planner – you are running your life wrong. I’m not sponsored or anything, I’m just right. Check them out!

 

These are my confessions.

s t r e s s e d

Stressed doesn’t begin to explain what I am feeling but it’s a start. And overwhelmed is a gross understatement. Burnt out, exhausted….just don’t do it justice. I’m confident there is not a word for the magnitude of pressure that is building in my head, the migraine that I’ve had for what seems like forever, the never-ending list of things I need to do/clean/cook/pay/review, the nagging ear ringing, or the agony I am in when someone says Sarah/mom (or any other variations of those) because I’m afraid I won’t be able to deliver. So. Much. Pressure. I can’t answer any more questions. I can’t read any more emails. I can’t solve any more problems.

I HAVE OFFICIALLY EXCEED MAXIMUM CAPACITY.

I know. I’m a mom. We aren’t supposed to have a maximum. We have super powers. Well I’m all super-ed out. There I said it.

This mom is all super-ed out.