- At work when I get into the elevator by myself – I push the close door button continuously to avoid people.
- Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs are my kryptonite. I want to eat them ALL.
- Things are changing at work and while I’m open to change and am trying to be optimistic – I have mixed emotions.
- On days I need chocolate: I sneak a spoonful of Nutella when no one is looking.
- I totally have a girl crush on Chrissy Teigen. I bought her cookbook – Cravings – for the food but also because of the pictures. GODDAMN she’s fierce!
- I will not wear sandals or open toed shoes until I’ve had a pedicure. I feel like this is a rule more people should adopt because I’ve seen some nasty feet as of late.
- I have never seen all the Star Trek movies. My husband is ashamed by this.
- One of my favorite authors ever – Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess – was in Dayton this past weekend and I missed a chance to see her. I’m devastated. But being a parent trumps being a fangirl.
These are my confessions.
I’ve been a way from my blog for a bit. I didn’t know how to write what I was feeling…. for once. For those of you who know me – I know I know, Sarah at a loss for words. It’s shocking to everyone. I had the words, just didn’t know how to get them on paper (or blog).
Depression. Loads people have it, sure. But when you’re a wife or mother there is a stigma that comes with for some reason. People assume your marriage is rocky or if you’ve recently had a baby, they blame postpartum. But why? I’m happily married to my best friend and I have a fantastic 9-year-old who is full of life…but I suffer from depression. It’s totally okay. It’s like because you’re wife/mother you have to be super human all the time. It’s exhausting. This might come as a shock to some but while mom’s are our personal superheroes they are humans too. And get this – we feel things and have our own problems to solve all while packing lunches, paying bills, holding down a job, managing a household and planning dinner. This shouldn’t be a branding of failure or a mark of inadequacy. Rather a badge of honor – meaning I’m fighting my inner and personal demons. And it’s okay.
Yes there are drugs. Sure there are loads of books with experts opinions. I’m not here asking for your two sense on how to deal with my own depression. I’m just letting you know that if you suffer in silence – it’s okay. There are people who get it, who aren’t here to give you a lecture or advice or judge you.
There are days I don’t want to get out bed, where I dread talking to anyone, where I can’t cope with my feelings or when I overcompensate for them. And I’m a wife and mother. I have depression and am working through it. And it’s okay.