Goodbye

You walked away a while ago
Threw your ring on the the floor
Stopped loving me
Hardly came home anymore

And it took me a long time to face facts
So many truths to uncover
That you had moved on
Fell in love with another

Now it’s time for you to leave
And you’re dragging your feet
Told me you wanted a divorce
Then took a back seat

I was more than patient with you
Ridiculously generous with time
You gave me your word
Clearly, it wasn’t worth a dime

And yes, it’s the end of what was
You could say it’s almost bittersweet
Learned a lot of lessons
One, I won’t live with a cheat

So it’s time for you to move out
I’ll help you pack
You chose this, remember
So there is no turning back

Widow

He’s burying her
In his thoughts and memories
Of what was and used to be

He’s mourning her
Feeling the loss so deep
Reaching across to the void where she used to sleep

He’s grieving for her
In his own way, the only way he knows
Hiding inside himself, covering pain but remaining composed

He’s cried for her
Let out all the hurt and sobbed through the ache
Washing away his guilt, for it was she, he forsake

He’s eulogized her
Reminisced of the times they shared
But now he’s alone, starting over and scared

He’s buried her
Finally laid her to rest
He’ll try to forget her but his efforts will be fruitless

Bed

The other side of the bed
Where no one lays
Still remains empty
Sheets cold and undisturbed, nowadays

I often look over and wonder
Will that space ever be occupied
Will someone ever be there
Laying by my side

Reaching over, feeling nothing
I am quickly made aware
It’s just me, still alone
Not a soul, not anywhere

Confessions – 12th ed.

It’s been a minute so I think I’m due for a public admission of my sins and other shit.

New to my shenanigans? I like to confess my things on my blog. It makes me feel ever so slightly lighter and it’s swimsuit season y’all, so any little bit helps. What are your confessions?

  • As much as I hate people, I miss working in the office. And I miss looking forward to coming home.
  • The vanilla cone is back at McDonald’s! GO! RUN! Get one, ten, now! I’ve honest to Google, never been happier. I’ve had a few…
  • Yellow makes me happy. So happy. It’s my spirit color.
  • I think White Claws are trash. Yeah I said what I said and I’m not sorry!!!
  • Right now, I’m winging this thing they call life and it scares the shit out of me. I’m a planner person and the fact that I can’t clearly see in front of me makes me nervous.
  • There are only two things I physically like about myself: my hair (it’s fabulous) and my eyes. That’s it. Self love is clearly something I need to work on…
  • I have created a lot of playlists on Spotify. Most recently I started a Country one. I KNOW. This was shocking to me too. I’m still processing. But my niece would probably be very pleased.
  • I absolutely love to buy underwear. Legit my favorite thing to shop for.
  • It appears that I am chronically behind on good TV. There is a lot of shit out there that I just haven’t seen/binged or only seen part of here and there. The list includes: Curb Your Enthusiasm, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Arrested Development, Archer, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia…I could go on. I know I know. I should take my 30 days of PTO and dedicate my time to rectifying this mistake.

These are my confessions.

Unwanted

I am unwanted
Married, divorced, left damaged and daunted

Undesirable to all of the opposite sex
No one special and someone everyone forgets
Was once considered very intriguing
And is now not even remotely appealing
Not a soul wants me, disgusted, they use antibacterial
Trying so hard to be something to someone and not immaterial
Everyday rejection breeds further feelings of being unsightly
Deep down I hope someone sees me for me, but it’s highly unlikely

insomnia

can’t sleep
the silence is deafening
the darkness completely enveloping

can’t sleep
the anxiety within is swelling
it’s too much, it’s overwhelming

can’t sleep
the sadness is exhausting
forever turning and tossing

can’t sleep
the pain is quiet but throbbing
goes on and on without stopping

i can’t sleep
thoughts ongoing, never ending
lay there eyes closed pretending

I CANNOT SLEEP
forever awake
drowning in sorrow and heartache